Matthew (
redrobbinghood) wrote in
pinkpizzellekops2012-01-12 02:06 pm
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I get seasick on boats, actually. Do you?

Maybe you didn't get your damn Thin Mints. Maybe you're tired of rain or maybe you're tired of traffic. Whatever the case, somehow or another you ended up on a boat. You're on a boat!
...you're on a boat? For whatever reason you're sailing on a boat. Not only that, but the flavor text photo was picked for a reason: the boat is in the middle of the ocean, or at least a reasonably large sea or lake. You have no idea where this vessel is heading or how long it takes before it hits port and there's no easy way off in sight.
Which brings up the question of what boat you're on. You have options here. It might be a vessel of your own choosing, or, if you're stumped, perhaps it's one of the following...
RNG time!
1) It's the RMS Titanic! Wait. Shit. (Tragic love story optional. Iceburgs less so.)
2) It's the S. S. Minnow! It's small, yet pleasant. The seas are getting a bit rough and the tiny ship's getting beaten and battered, but there's no way this'll end badly, right?
3) It's the Flying Dutchman! A doomed ghost ship never to make port, sailing the seas forever and without a life raft or convenient landmass in sight. How the heck did you end up here?
4) It's the Mayflower! You are sailing with a friendly band of pilgrims to the New World. Just doing so very...very...very slowly...
5) It's the Queen Anne's Revenge! The ship of Blackbeard, you are now living the life of a pirate. Whether you like it or not. Dockpressing might've occurred or you were lured aboard under false pretenses. tl;dr consent optional.
6) It's the Dawn Treader! You are on a brave adventure accompanied by a number of talking animals in search of, well, adventure and truth and things of that sort. Before you lies a fantastical coming of age story in which you discover your true self, learn from your mistakes, and become a better person...well, maybe.
7) It's the Sea Cucumber! It seems pleasant enough, and getting off will surely be easy. Right? Well, once you get rid of the huge bust by picking up the mop, using the mop with the stuffed duck in your inventory, use stuffed duck on a stick with the bookshelves, pick up dictionary...
TEAM S.S. MINNOW, GO
He is, however, a little concerned at how the Good Captain's handling this ship. So much, in fact, that he can't help wandering over to the steering wheel...
... Hang on. Where's the Captain? Or anyone capable of handling this ship?
Crap. John doesn't know how to steer a ship! Especially not in this weather!] Ummm... does anyone else know how to steer this guy? 'Cause I sure don't.
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[Says the kid who can't possibly be older than thirteen.]
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Go for it.
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[Captain Florian cheerfully steps up to the wheel!...He doesn't have the first clue how to steer. A tilt to the left, a huge spin to the right, maybe pull on that lever thing over there...]
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Um, maybe he should...] Kid, are you sure you know what you're doing?
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I've never been on a ship like this before.