GIRL SCOUT COOKIES

[proved]

It's that time of year again - Girl Scout Cookie time. Thin Mints, Samoas, even your boring Shortbread. So what are you waiting for?

Using the RNG, pick a scenario to play out from numbers 1-7. Or, if that doesn't strike your taste buds, come up with your own!

1) You're selling those cookies! Knock on doors, set up a stand at your local grocery store - it doesn't matter. You want that damn cookie patch and if someone says they don't want any? Tough, they're going to get a box of Tagalongs and like it.

2) It's finally cookie season! Share your excitement with others around you, even if they may not be as thrilled about Savannah Smiles as you are. But then again, what do they know?

3) Oh boy! The day of cookie delivery has finally come and--- wait. The person in the house next door just got the last box of Shout Outs!? That's not even supposed to happen, you ordered them after all. Go over and give them a piece of your mind!

4) No one is touching your box of Thin Mints. No one. They are yours. And only yours.

5) Here's the deal. Who do you have to kill for a box of Dulce De Leche? Either you missed cookie season entirely or those little twerps never showed up at your door with their bright smiling faces and overeager attitudes. Make them pay.

6) Now that the danger has passed, go ahead and enjoy your Shortbreads. Maybe even share with someone - a random stranger perhaps, or a close friend.

7) Whatever! A mix of some of the above or whatever cookie related shenanigan you require.

Comments

[impulsive]

[SWEET SWEET SUCCESS IS HIS! Bart rips open the box and then the first bag of Thin Mints. He plops one in his mouth...

....

And promptly hands the box back to Wally.] It's okay. You can keep them.

[wallyvswalls]

Dude, you don't like Thin Mints? Are you sure we're related?

[impulsive]

We did the DNA test. Of course we're related.

[wallyvswalls]

I say we redo it.

Seriously, who doesn't like Thin Mints?

[impulsive]

Is that what they're called? They're weird.

They taste like chocolate, but they're... [He takes another one.] Minty.

[wallyvswalls]

Yeah, that's why they're called Thin Mints. You've never had mint and chocolate together before?

[impulsive]

Not like this. We had mint chocolate chip ice cream, and I think chocolate peppermint tea...

[He's currently unaware that he's still munching Thin Mints despite his distaste for them.]

[wallyvswalls]

Dude, if you hate them so much, why are you still eating them?

[impulsive]

Oh.

[He has the decency to at least look sheepish as he hands the box over.] I didn't say I hated them! Just that they tasted weird. ... A good kinda weird, though. Where'd you get them?

[wallyvswalls]

[Takes the box and proceeds to munch again.] Girl Scouts. They sell them once a year.

[impulsive]

Wait... you mean the scary girls always earning their badges? They make stuff like this?

[Color Bart impressed.]

[wallyvswalls]

One: they don't actually make them. Two: Scary? Really?

[impulsive]

You haven't seen them earn their "Alligator Wrestling in a Sewer" or "Discovering Something that Doesn't Exist" patches yet? [Bart shudders and curls up in a ball just at the mere thought of facing these pint-sized terrors.]

They make great cookies, but I wouldn't go near them even if they had a bajillion boxes of these Thin Mints.

[wallyvswalls]

Dude, what Girl Scouts do you know?

[impulsive]

Normal ones, I think... What kind of Girl Scouts do you know?

[wallyvswalls]

Those are not normal Girl Scouts. Those are, like, crazy warrior Girl Scouts.

The ones I've heard about get badges for art and music and stuff like that.

[impulsive]

That's a lot less scary than alligator wrestling.

... So if you had a kid, you'd make her join the normal scouts, right? 'Cause Irey--- [WAIT, he's taking that back. Right now.] 'Cause this future potential kid really shouldn't be hanging out with the ones we've got in Manchester.

[wallyvswalls]

[Oh he caught that.]

Irey?

[impulsive]

Did I say Irey? Be... Beeecause I meant I realized! Yeah, I meant that I realized that kids shouldn't be hanging out with Manchester kids! Scout's honor!

[wallyvswalls]

Since when are you a scout?

[impulsive]

Since... now?

[wallyvswalls]

You're really not good at this.

And I definitely heard "Irey."

[impulsive]

You heard nothing!

[He stomps, going ahead and pouring himself a glass of milk.] I swear, it's not like I meant to tell you your daughter's name! It's not like I know it's supposed to mess up the time stream!

[wallyvswalls]

So I really have a daughter? [Woah, give him a sec to let this sink in.]

[impulsive]

[There's a long - long for a speedster, anyways - pause before Bart slowly nods.]

Yeah. Just promise me you won't tell Grandpa?