GIRL SCOUT COOKIES

[proved]

It's that time of year again - Girl Scout Cookie time. Thin Mints, Samoas, even your boring Shortbread. So what are you waiting for?

Using the RNG, pick a scenario to play out from numbers 1-7. Or, if that doesn't strike your taste buds, come up with your own!

1) You're selling those cookies! Knock on doors, set up a stand at your local grocery store - it doesn't matter. You want that damn cookie patch and if someone says they don't want any? Tough, they're going to get a box of Tagalongs and like it.

2) It's finally cookie season! Share your excitement with others around you, even if they may not be as thrilled about Savannah Smiles as you are. But then again, what do they know?

3) Oh boy! The day of cookie delivery has finally come and--- wait. The person in the house next door just got the last box of Shout Outs!? That's not even supposed to happen, you ordered them after all. Go over and give them a piece of your mind!

4) No one is touching your box of Thin Mints. No one. They are yours. And only yours.

5) Here's the deal. Who do you have to kill for a box of Dulce De Leche? Either you missed cookie season entirely or those little twerps never showed up at your door with their bright smiling faces and overeager attitudes. Make them pay.

6) Now that the danger has passed, go ahead and enjoy your Shortbreads. Maybe even share with someone - a random stranger perhaps, or a close friend.

7) Whatever! A mix of some of the above or whatever cookie related shenanigan you require.

Comments

Leah || JiM / Marvel 616

[scoffing]

[lowkeyinaminor]

[The tragic occurrences which had brought them to this point were long and involved and rather involved and frankly it doesn't matter. We don't need a recap page for this, all that is needed to be known is that shit? Happened.

...and if they didn't sell at least 47 more boxes of these dubiously acquired cookies they wouldn't be able to afford a hotel room and would have to find an absurdly spacious sewer or dank alley or something to sleep in.

Given Loki's (and others') gender, this was mainly up to Leah.]

...these cookies are awfully tasty. [Okay, so they opened a box or two.]

[scoffing]

[ The box of Thin Mints was attractive to Leah if only because the green on the box matched her dress and that seemed to be a good enough way of deciding what kind to eat more than anything else. Loki mentioned that it was their responsibility to make sure that they were selling quality goods, which meant testing them and then being able to hawk them out more effectively.

Except they are actually really good. ]

They are satisfactory.

[ Wait if she keeps using that word Loki is eventually going to call her out on it. ]

Sam Flynn || Tron: Legacy

[zipperless]

Elmer C. Albatross || Baccano!

[undespairing]

6

[a_gentle_boy]

[Lucas quietly opens the one box he had purchased from his savings. They are Thin Mints. He carefully undoes the package, draws out a cookie, and... offers it to the person next to him.]

I heard these are supposed to be really good. Would you like some?

[undespairing]

[Elmer happily accepts the cookie, giving a cheerful smile as he does.]

Oh, thanks! I've never tried this kind before.

Ba'al | Stargate SG-1

[baalsout]

one.

[scoffing]

[ For the record, she refused the Junior Girl Scout sash.

And while she only has a vague idea of why she's here ( Leah, we have to sell these cookies in order to save someone or another - humanity, most likely ) she has a job to do. So she's just going to pull out the piece of parchment on which Loki had written her a speech guaranteed to sell cookies. ]

Hello. I'm selling these delicious cookies. Selling these cookies are very important. If you buy these cookies, you'll help us in saving these puppies. [ holds up an iPad with a picture of the cutest little helpuppy ] Won't you please buy one.

[ Delivered dryly and in a monotone. ]

[monkeytailed]

[Screw you, Zidane knows Ba'al's the guy who's been 'liberating' his cookies, and he broke into his kitchen to take them back. Right now he's opening a cupboard quietly to see if the boxes are there.

...

What, they're tasty and he actually paid for them. Unlike some people.]

Luke Skywalker | Star Wars Expanded Universe

[skywalkering]

[Pick a canon point, any canon point (if that matters to you)]

1/3

[midget]

[ Why hello there, Luke. Have a presence literally rising from your shadow, as this little blond girl actually pulls herself from it like a ghost from a television set.

Loudly, she proclaims- ]

I've found our first victim.

2/3

[lowkeyinaminor]

Finally! [Enter, stage leftish. In his hands are a bunch of boxes of...cookies.] Hurry, Leah! [...he'll pay for that later.]

3/3

[scoffing]

[ If the following speech sounds familiar, blame a lack of creativity. But hey, that's a flashy green teleportation hole and then there's Leah in front of poor unsuspecting Luke. ]

Hello. I'm selling these delicious cookies. Selling these cookies are very important. If you buy these cookies, you'll help us in saving these puppies. [ holds up an iPad with a picture of the cutest little helpuppy ] Won't you please buy one.

[ Delivered dryly and in a monotone. ]

Cho Hakkai | Saiyuki

[yetanotherpunishment]

1

[undespairing]

Hello sir! Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies? They're guaranteed delicious!

[Please ignore the fact this kid's obviously not female. Or even dressed as a scout.]

Loki / MCU

[sorcerous]

[thundering]

[ See Thor. See Thor with his nearly full cookie order form. He has hit up everyone he knows on Earth, including the Avengers, the people they've saved, and one or two villains while he's been at it. Doctor Doom likes Samoas - who knew?

So don't mind him as he tries to peer over at your list, Loki. ]

How many have you sold, brother?

Wallander | ...Wallander

[wallander]

Susan Sto Helit | Discworld

[inthebones]

[What an atrocious scam. These things cost half her salary and the box was half full of air to boot.]

[tenyeargambit]

I wouldn't eat those if I were you. I believe that they have been... [And here is a pause which implies the usual game wacky nonsense involving status effects and the like.] ...tainted.

tony stark - 616 marvel

[resilient]

 

2

[fonflower]

[Hello Mr. Stark. What nice weather we've got today. By the way, there's a kid with a little red wagon full of cookie boxes standing on your doorstep.]

Hello sir, would you like to buy some cookies?

Bart Allen | DC Comics

[impulsive]

4

[wallyvswalls]

[Awww yeah cookie season. Some people eagerly await holidays or sporting events. Wally eagerly awaits the opportunity to hoard cookies.]

[So he'll just be in the kitchen, digging some Thin Mints out of his super secret but not extremely well-hidden stash.]